Good Friends Means a World To Me

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
Unknown

Each time I feel useless and a burden on the earth, (Dharti ka bhojj) a friend walks closer to my heart, unfolds the clouds of depression and lifts my spirit up. Friends’ smiles have added a bright sunshine in my life and I have found them at every walk of life. Flashback to my childhood, takes me to a profile of a close friend who cared a lot for me. Her name was Usha Singh, I don’t know where she is now but we were very close to each other at the age of 5years.

Rolling through the transcript of my life, I have moved places, countries, life and lost many friends on the route; I change a new best friend, (every five years, I have noticed), matching my personality with them. I didn’t forget their names (I do remember them) but didn’t keep in touch with them after they crossed the borders over to their new life with a different name. Through the social media, I have found few and have interacted with them too but I have moved on.

Essential base for friendship is utility, pleasure, virtue, honesty and common interest.

On social network too, we develop friendship with the person whom we have never met, but that is on an intellectual level. I have many virtual close friends to whom I feel connected and care a lot. When I don’t see them for long period, I worry about their well-being. These are friends to whom we are attracted not by the way they look (most of them are photo-shopped profiles, but who care?) but by their skills, talent and thoughts. These friendships do break off when the expectation does not match with our imaginations. They shouldn’t. But what can one say of a friend who is disappointed by the way we look? Is it important to match the looks with intelligence and comfort?

Pleasure is the essential base for friendship.

Every friendship has a pleasure attached. We can overlook the short-comings of a person that cannot be helped, like color, caste, size, health. (These are always overlooked on online friends). But friendship should bring a joy for it to flourish. We have a good reason to reject her/him when we meet them personally if we are offended by the way they behave. On a physical level, we tend to observe their ethics, manners and culture, their ability to talk sensibly and their sensitively towards delicate issues. The cleanliness and their dressing style also matters. The person who has no time to take care of themselves first because they are lazy to do so, how can we expect them to find time for us?

Let’s face facts. There has to be a utility value to the friendship. Everybody needs moral, physical and emotional support. Friendship follows the rule: I give, and you give too. It has to be interactive and reciprocal. The gender of the friendship is not important but if it is just one way friendship, it cannot last for long. The best friendship is the friendship between women. Women have the caring nature and are willing to offer help whenever the need arises. There is so much to share. It’s not gossip, it’s emotional speculation, a good friendships that lasts life-time understands all the qualities of a close friend, good/bad, and accepts them.

Once a friend, always a friend is my mantra.

In a good friend, sentiments and honesty is the only glue that binds the relationship for ever.

Participating in a post a day with Marathon Bloggers

A Diwali Message...

Diwali festival is here, bringing with it love and to rebuilt the relationship between family and friends. Each one of us will sit with our family and pray to Goddess Laxmi to bless us spiritually and mentally. We will pray for success and prosperity and ask for strength to face the rough times.

But God helps those who help themselves. Just praying won’t help, there has to be some effort on our behalf too.

To bring the happiness into our lives, we should hold ourselves accountable; it’s no use blaming others for our unhappiness. Nobody can harm us if we do not allow them. We are in charge of our own feelings and as we think so shall we feel.

We create the thought and that creates feelings.

Positive or negative thought, it’s all in our control. We spend too much time thinking about what people will gossip about us. In this tech world that we live, let it be understood that people really have no time to think or talk about us. Even if they make a comment, it’s just a passing phrase, nothing to brood about. They make a comment and get on with it, might even forget about it.

But what do we do?

We sit and think about it for hours and hours, making ourselves miserable. “How dare she say this about me? How much does she know me? As if she is perfect!” we repeat over and over, unwilling to forget, thus bringing unhappiness into our lives.

The first germ of bad feeling is our bad thought. We want revenge.

We won’t rest till we have got even and said equally unkind things back to them. We have attachment with negativity and we are always being cynical about every issue. This is a germ that spreads like virus and envelops all the people around us creating negative vibrations that may result in headache, health problems or discomfort.

People are so insecure that they are always doing weird thing to draw attention to themselves.

Why don’t we have a faith in ourselves? Why must we keep proving ourselves?

It is not important to make an impression on everyone whom we meet. As long as we have good opinion about our own selves and have enough faith in our own abilities, there is no need to prove it. Our talent will be recognized eventually without any struggle.

On this day, of Diwali festival, may we be blessed and let us work on cleansing our souls so that negative vibrations don’t even knock on our doors.

Happy Diwali and a happy New year!!

Postcard from Tenerife - 3

Tenerife is an island, there are many beautiful beaches around coastal areas where one can spend hours. The restaurants along the coastal areas sell the best fresh fish and it’s a great way to spend a day with family and friends.

But one has to be careful during swimming in these waters because not all the beaches are safe to swim. I have heard of many stories about people being swept away by wild waves. Those are the people who are not careful about the precausions one has to take and are willing to take risk in such water.

If you are in Tenerife, It is important to identify the safety of the beaches by the color of flag that you see at every beach. Different beaches display different colored flags. It is important to understand their significations by their colors before taking a plunge.

They are red, green, yellow and blue. 

The beach with blue flag is a five star beach. It is clean, has all the safety precautions, has active life-guards, has instant first aid services, restaurants, clean toilets, sea beds and all the facilities to enjoy the day at the beach.

When you see a green flag, it indicates that it is safe to swim. 

Yellow flag indicates that you have to make your own decision and swim at your own risk. All the safety precaution might not be available and you are in charge of making your own decisions.

But when you see the red flag, don’t even bother changing into swim suit.

Postcard from Tenerife - 2

Icod de Los Vinos is the quiet town where I have lived for many years, it is in the north of an island, far away from the city. A walk down the main road is quite pleasant with coffee shops dominating the street. Many people come here from different parts of the island mainly for shoe shopping and for typical Canaria cuisine. The lane is narrow, one-way street with foot path separating the cobbled motorway by only a different smooth tile, there is no elevation, no step, it's a very comfortable walk, with plants and benches, at regular intervals, all the way.

The streets become alive at 9am. Every shop owner takes the responsibility of cleaning the area around his shop and that includes sweeping the foot-path outside his store too.

The cafeteria along the path, have their chairs spread on the foot paths. Parents, who leave their children to the school, come for a cup of coffee and a little chit-chat with their friends before they can get back to their routine work. 

All the stores are closed during lunch hour from 1pm to 5pm, it’s the siesta time, people have their hearty lunch and settle down to watch their favorite TV soap or watch a game of football. Market becomes alive again from 5pm to 8pm.

All shops close by 8pm, the locals will either head towards the night clubs, social groups, casinos or go for long walks along the coastal areas or simply settle down to their quiet life in pajama to watch the TV programs till their eyes droop off to sleep.